Thursday, December 26, 2013

Leela's Dateability

For some reason my children dearly love the TV show Futurama. They love Bender's exhortation to "bite my shiny metal ass" and Zoidberg's scuttling.  Even the Professor's senile "wha-?"

And so, as a parent, what they watch on TV, I watch on TV.  Believe me when I tell you I can recite the entire script to How To Train Your Dragon as well as Cars.

One thing I've noticed about Futurama is Philip J. Fry's frequent professions of his love for Turanga Leela. As an adult male I must say, Leela definitely has what it takes from the neck down. But it suddenly occurred to me that Futurama is a cartoon. What would Leela look like in real life? The Internet to the rescue once again!


Aaahhhh!  Homer Simpson's anguished scream of horror echoes through my head as I look at this picture.  No, I could not get used to that. Maybe if the eye were a little more human.



Aaahhhh!  Nope, still completely freaks me out. Let's try a little more cartoonish:


Okay, I might be able to get used to that... from about the nose down. Nope, I still can't quite stomach the cyclopian look.

I guess that's it- I'm hopelessly shallow.  I demand a (possibly unrealistic) standard of binocular beauty from women. I could not be Fry- if I worked at Planet Express I'd be trying to date Amy.

Yep, she's rich.